And Everyone Smiled: The Woes of Self-Publishing

He smiled. She smiled. They smiled. Someone smiled. So-and-so smiled. Such-and-such smiled. And they all smiled at each other.

Yeah. Well, I got a proof copy of my novel, Secondhand Shoes. The book is beautiful  in person. The pic below doesn’t do it justice. It was surreal to hold and stare at it. Tears filled my eyes, and I got all mushy over it. So did Sweetman. But…

…on the back, some words were kicked out of the blurb. Some of the sentences make no sense without them. But it does look beautiful. But then…

…you open to the very first page and it’s totally off center. It also needs to go up a little higher. And the more I go through the book the more alignment issues I see. But this didn’t show up on the Create Space Page Viewer thingie. It all looked perfect. And it’s so not perfect so much so one can’t even see the left hand page numbers.

And all my poo-words were converted to pooh. That’s not the pooh I wanted. He’s in another story. Holy Schmoly!

But these aren’t the only problems. My hyper-sensitive-editor has now gone on red alert. I’ve got two pages of smiles. Smile. Smile. Smile. While editing via my computer screen or an 8x10 paper copy of my MS, it wasn’t apparent. Everything looked word-symmetrical. It all looks really different being in a book. It’s more condensed.

SO do I go in and delete a lot of those smiles? ***shrugs*** Am I being too sensitive? Too much of a perfectionist? OMG!

Shouldn’t I be my own worst critic before some one else out there buys the book and butchers my story? My writing?

Anyway, if you’re self publishing, make sure you pay to get your PROOF copy before agreeing to unleash your great American novel onto the word-eaters out  there.

So I’m hoping before I get Glowstick back later, I will have gone through the entire book at least.

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

WINNER! And Proofreading

A couple weeks ago my fur-peeps, Sir Poops and Hair Ball, hosted a Secondhand Shoes Cover Reveal and a contest, Something Borrowed over at The Life of a Novice Writer.

Sad to say, not too many peeps were interested in the giveaway. So we didn’t have too many to choose from. And everyone that wanted their names thrown into the bowl expressed interest in the House of Night Series, not Twilight.

So Sir Poops and Hair Ball picked, Lorelei Bell. YAY!

***

Also, I thought I’d let you all know I’ve been working really hard at getting the book done. It’s been formatted for the paperback and is still in the process of being formatted for the Kindle.

However, I’ve been proofreading and proofreading since I got the paperback format back. And one thing I’ve learned about this experience is this, MAKE SURE YOU PROOFREAD AND EDIT the format.

Once your novel has been formatted, the monkey ain’t over. Because what you’ll find will be missing punctuation, and words that have been respelled. And the sad thing is, is sometimes your eyes don’t pick everything up even though you’ll go through it like a thousand  times.

But I’m getting there and I’m fully in the moment. I also have a new appreciation for all the Indies before me. And I would also like to add, if there is a punctuation or misspelling in any Indie work, we should go light on them in reviews for it. It has nothing to do with competency. I think we should be more concerned about their storytelling abilities, sentence structure, and plots. Not to mention, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the FAMOUS AUTHOR’s novels and have found punctuation and spelling errors. I’ve also been disappointed by their storytelling and plots.

That’s all I have for today. Looking forward to the Holidays. I’ll be taking a six week hiatus form blogging, starting November 20th so I can finish this adventure and hopefully finish my next book. Plus, I need to tend to some ongoing medical issues.

As I leave this post today, I ask, Do you believe we should take it easy on the Indie author for their puncuation and spelling after I explained to you what happens during formatting?

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

A to Z Challenge, Day 16: R is for Research

About four years ago, I attended a mini writing conference. And one of the speakers was a used-to-be- lawyer-turned-bodice-ripper-writer-to-suspense-bodice- ripper-thriller-writer who is a NYC best seller. She gave some really bad advice. And no, I’m not mentioning her name. Like I said she used to be a lawyer.

Anyway, one of her tidbits of advice was ‘just bullshit your way through a scene or a description. You don’t need to research for details. Most readers don’t know any better’. Smack me in the forehead, yes, we do need to research. And yes, the reader knows better.

My critter’s found scenes I had wrong. They were gun related. I learned that a gun is not just a gun but that there are different ones. They even shoot and hold differently. And they don’t all require the same kind of ammo.

When I sent my MS to beta readers, one found (Lorelie Bell, author of Vampire Ascending and Vampire’s Trill), that I had lots of things wrong with driving a semi. So she enlightened me. To this day, I’m so grateful for her suggestions and knowledge on the subject.

And since I’m a hairdresser by trade, I always have opportunities to discuss how my clients feel about reading books.

One of my questions I posed was this, ‘How would you feel if an author bullshitted their way through a scene?”

Their answer was always the same. “We’d put the book down and never finish it because it would make us mad. People aren’t stupid.”

So, yeah, researching topics on how to do something or historical facts is vitally important.

Before I leave, I leave you with a diddy. Maybe two:

“It’s not stopping!” The dash looked daunting. There were at least twelve gages and ten switches. “What’s all this stuff for?!”

“I don’t know but you need to find the clutch. It’s somewhere near the brake,” Cynthia said. “I sure hope you remember not to do anything your mother suggests ever again.”

I shifted my foot left and slammed it onto the clutch, grabbing the gear shift. My little hand could barely hang onto the softball-sized shift. “How many gears is on this thing?” I wiggled it front, then to the right, and then left. The engine made a grinding noise.

“Ten forward ones and two reverse.”

DISCLAIMER: No one may use this written content. It belongs to Shelly Arkon.

A to Z Challenge, Day 15: Q is for Question

Today, I wish to ask two questions. One, how do you personally feel about words in a novel? You know, like ‘was’ and ‘that’, ‘just’, and ‘then’. How about too many adverbs and too many dangling participles? Improper tags? Do you feel if we get caught up in what’s right according to the status quo, will it distract you from being creative?

Some authors feel that yes it will ruin the moment of their creative bursts. Mostly the Indies. Since the world of publishing has new options for the self-published we’re seeing the rules broken. ***air quotes here*** Indies are the non-conformists of the publishing world.

Last year, I promised only to read Indie authors’ works and there is some GREAT stuff out there. And yes, there is some mediocre stuff, and some really bad stuff. But I’ve read some really boring and awful famous author stuff, too. They also break the rules. Or, is it their editors screwed up, passing crap through the key hole, thinking no one will notice because they can market the author’s name anyway? ***shrugs***

And I ‘ve read posts and comments about the Indies. Mostly negative.You know, how self-publishing doesn’t filter out the crap. What is crap to you? I believe its something personal.

Personally, I don’t care about the word game-even though when I beta read for someone, I’ll mark up their MS, pointing out the no-no’s. Really though, for me, its all about the plot and character development. If someone can tell a story, who cares about the words? If you can’t tell or write a story coherently, you’ve got a problem. That’s my thought.

Indie author, Elizabeth J. Kolodizier rants exactly about this issue on her blog. Please check it out. Just click on her name below.

Elizabeth J. Kolodizier

My second question is this, do you ever ask yourself why am I writing? Why do I torment myself? Whether its one rejection letter after the other or you’ve got a small following. What’s the point? That’s what Aaron Sawyer asked a couple days ago on his blog. Just click on his name below.

Aaron Sawyer

So what are your feelings on both topics?

A to Z Challenge, Day 8: J is for Jump and Jerk

This morning, well almost everyday when writing a scene, I find myself pondering and sometimes inking other ways to show someone being startled or moving abruptly. And whenever I’d turned my work into my editor, she’d write a big, fat ‘Ack!’ or ‘Yak!’.

“Sweetie,” she said many, many times. “You don’t have to try so hard. Things like this only need to be said simply. Remember, keep it simple.”

And my poor brain still believes there has to a fancier way of showing these words.  What do you think?

Below are a couple lines from my novel.

I jumped, turning to face the doorway, almost jabbing my wrist. “Oh my, goodness,” I gasped, yanking at the scissors stuck in the lace. “You scared me.”

I jerked my hand back. “Max, there are people right outside who can see in.”

 

Disclaimer: No one may use this written content. It belongs to Shelly Arkon.

Out of the Mouth of The Editor-For-Hire

"You've lost your meat and bones to the premise of your story," she said. "I hope you have your original chapters."

"Oh," I said. For the most part, I'm speechless.

"It's okay though. All writers do this when they go back to make changes. It's all the information you get during critiques and beta-reads. Just make sure you have your original chapters. Anything is fixable."

Thank God, I do. ***rolling my eyes***

Editing equals patience my friends. Also, never throw your original MS away EVER no matter how much you've slathered poo on it.