Blurb

The shoes didn't fit. It was an omen.













Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Indie Life: Being Polite

IndieLife7sm 

Today, is the day we help support and give some advice to fellow Indies. If you’re interested in this group that posts the second Wednesday of the month, click the link to the left of your screen.

My mother’s mother used to tell me, “One can attract bees with honey… and flies, for that matter.” As I got older, I understood it to be take care in how you deliver bits of information. Be polite. Always provide some sugar with the bad news. One can tell the truth while they handle the other person with care.

Not that this is going to be old news, but I’ve seen some really brash comments all over cyberspace again, lately. Authors slashing authors. Indies slashing Indies.

As adults, we should already know how to play nice in the sandbox. I got bullied in my high school days and I’m not into it now as I approach the big FIVE O. Especially in being part of the MEAN KID CROWD.

Since I’ve been out here, I’ve only given one bad review. But left it as a diamond that needed to be polished. Instead of being MEAN, we should be helping other writers with their craft.

Everyone that writes is an artist even if they’re self published, have formatting problems, missing words, a crappy cover, and have a comma issue going on.

Deliver some sugar to these folks. Bartering is one way.

I hope everyone has a chocolate filled day. Remember to play nice in the sandbox and share your cookies.

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

36 comments:

  1. LOL, "comma issues" — my editor is the self-described Comma Queen. I'm learning. :-D

    I was bullied, too, so I know where you're coming from. I've only written one nasty review, and I seriously doubt Cormac McCarthy gives two tin toots what I think. :-P

    There was one book I wanted to blast, simply because I expected a lot more of it—the only characters I cared about were bit players and cannon fodder—but I was also sick with the flu when I read it. So instead of a review, I contacted the author privately on G+ and told him what I didn't like (and admitted my being sick might have been the issue). He didn't respond, but did +1 the message.

    With the modest success of one of my titles, came "all over the map" reviews. I've learned to roll with them, laugh them off, or (rarely) incorporate what wisdom they have to give. Sometimes, you have to "cry all the way to the bank, laugh all the way home."

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    1. So far, I haven't had any bad reviews. But I see how some authors treat each other and its deplorable to say the least.

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  2. It's always better to support others than to tear them down.

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    1. I would rather read books from supportive authors rather than meanies,

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  3. We have a fantastic writing community, but you're right--some people never learn to play nice.

    If we don't support each other, who will?

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    Replies
    1. Yes. We do. But when I venture out into other waters I see a lot of scary stuff.

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  4. i really dont like mean people. There just isn't room for that sort of thing in the writing world:)
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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  5. Hi Shelly,

    How very true. And that petty interaction we have both noted, does nobody any good. Well said, Shelly.

    Gary about to share some biscuits :)

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  6. One of my crit partners was the best at teaching me how to be respectful of others work by being respectful, another of my crit partners taught me to be respectful of others work by not being so respectful in her delivery of criticism to mine. I'd say they were both valuable teachers. This is always a good topic to consider. Thanks!

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  7. Oh boy, yeah it can be ugly out there. I think sometimes the writers who work hard to learn craft can get annoyed with those who pub too quickly before earning it. BUt it's never ok to be mean about it. What goes around comes around.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. I do get annoyed but I always put in an email by offering to help them.

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  8. This is excellent advice. When I crit I always try to tell why something didn't work for me or what the grammar rule is as well as what IS working because even writers whose work needs improvement are probably doing something right.

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  9. You are SO right Shelly...

    Delivery is everything! A crit could be constructive without the nasty edge... We are writers after all ... Words are our business, so why are "these" bullies not doing it?

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    Replies
    1. I don't know. Maybe they feel threatened. Jealous?

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    2. That just may be, Shelly.

      Don't forget ... Secondhand Shoes is featured on S day. Mon. April 22nd....

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    3. Thank you for the reminder...I send peeps to your blog that day.

      Hugs and chocolate,
      Michael

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  10. The more I write, the more I understand how sometimes, no matter how hard you try, something just doesn't turn out the way you wanted. I keep that in mind whenever I read anything that's not as good as it could be.

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  11. It is important for adults to remember to "play nice." Though I've only had positive experiences in blogland.

    Julie

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    1. Blogland is great but some of the other social media arenas aren't so nice.

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  12. Shelly this saddens me~ YOU are talented and a wonderful person, don't let them drag you down! I wish I could give you hugs n' chocolate for real!!! @>-----------

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    1. Oh I'm good. I haven't been bullied. But I've seen others out there on other peeps out there coming under attack.

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  13. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That's pretty much how I live my life - unless I'm really mad!

    And I've never, nor would I ever, criticize an author's work. I may not be published, but I know full-well just how hard writing is.

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  14. I'm not a fan of the mean kid crowd either. ;)

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I'm dying to know what you think.