Things really changed after he left. Besides, it reminded of God's so called goodness. I blamed Him for everything that went kapoot in my life. Not to mention, the church people were cruel when it all fell apart. I was totally alone. Not even my family offered a shoulder to cry on.
It didn't help that the ex had all the five girls for Christmas and Easter every year plus every weekend.
Those days were especially dubbed for cleaning out my closets. It kept me from missing them and gave me a good excuse not to have to spend any spare minutes at mom's. She's another story that I've been writing about over at Two Fur-Peeps and a Writer, www.shellysnovicewritings.blogspot.com/ .
As for getting together with other family members it usually spelled disaster. So and so didn't speak to so and so and on and on. Everyone within my family had their own little clique leaving me somewhere in the middle.
There is no excuse for bitterness and anger or trying to make people be something they'll never be. Everyone is what they are. No one can make another person self-reflect and apologize. One can only do that for themselves. Something I learned since I had a few bitters growing on my own unhappy tree. But it took time.
So for years, I spent holidays quietly at home. In 2005, I ressurected Thanksgiving. It was always my favorite holiday and least commercialized. It also forced me to reflect on and count my blessings. And stop ... Being so bitter about all the crap that had exploded into my life. Kaka happens! And since we can't change the past. One must go forward. Right?
I also discovered that God wasn't at fault here. Bad things happen either because of our own personal choices or someone else's. And if any of us are guided by our own selfishness to do or not do something, well ... God had nothing to do with it. If we didn't ask Him in the first place to do or not do something, why get upset over it?
The path to forgiveness has been a long one. And I know I'm not there yet. People and family can be downright mean, self-serving, and critical. But so can I. Although, I've been diligently working on those areas.
For every wrong someone has done to me, I can say I've bounced a lot of bad basketballs off of them.
Yeshua told us to forgive someone seven times seventy. To forgive is to love thy neighbor as thyself. If we can't forgive others, how can we possibly expect God to do the same for us?
And yes, our family members are our neighbors.
I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving and all went well with their families this year.
I had a very special visitor on Thanksgiving Day.
His mom and dad tagged along, too. The mom is my youngest daughter, Sticky Bun.
Is anyone out there working on forgiveness?
Hugs and chocolate, all!