The shoes didn't fit. It was an omen.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Cyndi Lauper v. Madonna

Yup. Today, I’ll briefly write about these two music icons and give you a diddy from Secondhand Shoes.

Both gals showed up in 1983. But it was Cyndi Lauper who stuck in my head. There was something special about her. And no, it wasn’t the funny-colored hair or the goofy lips she used to make.

cyndi lauper

It was her passion. The girl had soul when she sang. It all came from her heart.

And then there was Madonna and still is.


I never did hear the passion in her voice about what she sang about but she did drool money, money, money... Oh, and I can’t forget SEX. She was a marketable exhibitionist which meant she’d do anything for fame and fortune.

Personally, I prefer Cyndi Lauper any day. She literally glowed when she performed like a song-angel. Still does.

And Madonna well…she’s no angel in my book.

Diddy time:

Some scissors sat on a table in the open break room. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. Nope. I grabbed them and hurried to the bathroom.

I slipped the shirt over my head and slid my arms into the short sleeves. Madonna. Cyndi Lauper. Today I can dress punk and not feel out of place. Gram’s so smart.

I cut the lower half of my dress above my knees. Took that material and cut some strips. They’d make a nice belt and bow for the top of my head. I’m sure Madonna and Cyndi Lauper would think it cool to have a bow displayed over a ball cap. Why not?

I tied a nice sash around the waist of the large-sized shirt and rolled my sleeves up. So Madonna, with one long laced arm instead of laced leggings. Next, I tied up the ball cap with a big girlie bow, something nineteen-twentyish. I looked into the mirror. They’ll never notice me in this.

Shelly Arkon © 2012

Friday, June 15, 2012

Pot Roast, Apple Pie, Liverwurst and Mayonnaise Sandwiches

Good morning all! Before I go further with this post today I thought I’d tell you all I’ll be posting here the first and third Friday of every month for now. I need to focus on family stuff and my writing. Secondhand Shoes will be out this year. As of today, I’ve got 77 more pages to pick through before I send it to a friend for editing. Okay. Enough about that stuff onto the real purpose of my blog today. MOTHER-IN-LAWS.

If you’ve been married more than once, you can end up with some real winners. They can be the most evil peeps on planet earth, and I haven’t got a clue why. My first mother-in-law---we’ll focus mainly on her---was SPECIAL. So SPECIAL she caused all kinds of crap. But I’ll only bore you with one instance and it will give you the entire picture of what I dealt with.

Mother-in-law: My son’s favorite foods are liverwurst and mayonnaise sandwiches. Pot roast and apple pie.

Me: Okay. ***I jotted her information down***

Mother-in-law: He likes liverwurst and mayonnaise sandwiches everyday for lunch. And he likes his pot roast dinner served to him every Sunday. Make sure you make him an apple pie every week. He likes a piece every night before he goes to bed.

Me: ***I take these instructions to heart***

So for weeks I make him the foods I was told were his favorite. I wanted to be the best little wife ever.

Husband: Why do you make me liverwurst and mayonnaise sandwiches everyday? I hate liverwurst. And I hate mayonnaise more.

Me: Oh.

Husband: And I can’t stand pot roast. It’s too dry for my liking.

Me: Oh. ***now I’m really confused***

Husband: And can’t you bake something else besides apple pie like chocolate cake? Apple pie is boring.

Me: Oh. ***my cheeks went hot***

Husband: Whatever gave you the idea I liked any of these?

Me: Your mom. She told me they were your favorite foods.

Husband: She must have me mixed up with my brother or something.

Me: ***How can you mix up your sons? She was so specific?****

But this was also the same woman who thought spousal abuse was okay. Need I say more?

And before I leave, I’d like to share some clips from some of my favorite creepy mother-in-law movies. They inspired me to create Edith Butz, Max’s mother, and Lila’s mother-in-law.

Jessica Lang played the perfect psycho mother-in-law, in the 1989 movie, Hush. Here’s the trailer.

Oh and how about Jane Fonda in Monster-In-Law?

Anyone else have any scary mother-in-law stories to tell?