Character Blog: Max, Lila’s Groom

When I get my hands on that woman, there’s no telling what I’ll do to her, beat her into submission or make wild passionate love to her. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now, I need to find her.

The thought came to mind she might be playing hard to get. A game of foreplay before we commence the marriage. Maybe. But she did take off with the wedding cash. I needed it to take care of some business. And if she’s playing hard to get, would she have sprayed me with mace? Possibly. Some girls like it rough. They like pain with pleasure. Hmm…(Scratches his chin).

Nah…maybe she’s really running from me because she did steal my car. No one messes with Max Butz’s car. My mom bought it for me (he scratches his head). I don’t know, though.  Why would she marry me? The woman confuses me.

Maybe she’s  on her way to the police. But my mom tells me wives can’t testify against their husbands in a court of law. If I go down, she goes down.

My mom said she’d be good for the family business. That’s why I married her…well…kind of. I mean, she’s real pretty. Innocent-like, you know. I get a hard-on thinking about her. Guess that means I love her. Mom says it was God’s will to marry her.

Well, when I find her maybe I’ll slap her around a bit and make love to her all in the same round. You know, let her know who’s boss and who loves her. Part of me is hoping I don’t have to kill her. Mom says I might have but not before I make love to her.

I could see Charlie Sheen playing Max. But somehow he’d have to made to look younger. He’s got that demented look in his eyes that I see in Max’s when I write about him.

What do you think?