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This blog hop is brought to you by PK Hero. It's a pretty cool idea. Here's the basic deal: YOU WRITE A LETTER TO YOURSELF or something like that (I don't do directions all that well. So. Yeah.). You can find out more by clicking the link above.
WORTHLESS AND INSULTED
by Shelly Arkon
Talia blinked watery blue eyes at the freckled face boy standing head to head with her.
He ran his hand underneath his nose and then scratched at a scab on his lift elbow.
Her cheeks blushed a rose color as she watched. There was something about him that gave her butterflies in the pit of her stomach.
At eleven, these beautiful words written by another eleven year old plundered my heart. It even discouraged me from writing anymore stories for a long time. My stories seemed so...STUPID! The way I put my words together were total BLECK ! I never felt good enough or worthy or confident in my own ability to create a story like (changing her name to protect the perfectly innocent here) Maria Amos.
What I've learned since...everyone is unique. Each writer has their own voice and their own way in putting a story together. We should NEVER-EVER compare ourselves with other writers. It's one sure way to keep you from practicing your craft to make it better or keeping you from finishing and publishing anything.
"Do you think you can clarify 'she worked like a dog all day'?" Miss M asked me, wrinkling her forehead in confusion.
At sixteen, I had entered a short story competition that my high school was putting on. I worked tirelessly on mine. To me, it was the best ever story... EVER.
One of my high school teachers offered to critique and edit it for me. Well...I didn't take her constructive criticism as helpful advice. Instead, I took it as an insult.
Sadly, I never finished my piece for the competition and withdrew from it completely.
What I've learned since...another pair of eyes will always see something you or me won't or can't. Stories are like families. We make excuses for our bad habits and enable them on because we're too close to really fix what could be better.
So don't ever GIVE UP if you THINK someone else's story or voice or idea is way better than yours. And don't take someone's critique as either a correct or wrong assumption. Weigh everything. Consider what is said. It's always good to have three sets of eyes. Then if two out of three see the same writing issue, fix it.
Oh and treat yourself to some delicious chocolate while perfecting your story or stories. It makes everything better.
I hope everyone has a Happy Monday and week. I'll be working the next couple of days.
Hope to keep up in the blogosphere this week. Last week I failed miserably.
Hugs and chocolate, all!
Shelly
Weigh everything - smart advice.
ReplyDeleteSorry you never finished and entered your story, Shelly.
I'm sorry I didn't complete and compete, too.
DeleteThis is the reason too many talented writers give up, and it's a damn shame.
ReplyDeleteA lot of adult peeps can't take constructive criticism. Sad.
DeleteIt really is one of the pitfalls of writing, giving up too easily.
ReplyDeleteOne should never give up or be in too much of hurry.
DeleteLearning to accept criticism is one of the toughest parts of becoming a writer. Sorry you were derailed there for a while, but glad you returned to your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteMaturity helps a lot.
DeleteCriticism is not restricted to authors. I think it's something we all have to learn to handle.
ReplyDeleteI know. I did acting and modeling for a little while. One must have thick skin for that.
DeleteAw, Shelly. I want to hug your eleven-year-old self. That feeling of inadequacy can be paralyzing. So glad you're still with it!
ReplyDeleteWhen a kid, it sure was. I doubted myself at every corner.
DeleteIt is difficult to admit that others can often see things I miss. Excellent advice.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteNice post. And by all means--let's not forget to pamper ourselves 'cause we deserve it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Eleyne. And yes we all need some pampering.
DeleteThis sounds so much like my own experiences. Learning to accept criticism (and also to distinguish good critiques from bad critiques) was one of the most important lessons I learned. Great post, and great advice!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you could relate.
DeleteGreat words of wisdom. I learned after a long time not to put anyone up on a pedestal, and not to compare.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard lesson to learn when you're a kid.
DeleteWhat a sweet, letter, Shelly. Thank you for sharing your honesty with us and I'm glad to see how much you have grown since your younger days of writing. I think the hardest part is sometimes accepting the fact that we are all unique and that is what makes our voices so special. We take criticism harshly but the reality of it is that we can only grow from learning what we are lacking in our voice. And sometimes the worse criticism can be the best; especially when it allows us to create something even more exquisite than ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your letter=)
You're welcome. I'm glad you found this helpful.
DeleteHI, Shelly,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you felt with that other writer at age eleven.
With me it was art. There was a girl in my second grade class who was an AMAZING artist for her age. I mean RIDICULOUSLY talented... I compared my drawings to hers which were mediocre at best. No matter how I tried I could never compare. And then she was voted class artist... I was crushed...
But I didn't give up. Many years later I had found out her mother was a professional artist. "No wonder." I sighed. I didn't have that support. My parents were dead set against my art talent. So I never had the training...
But I did in college. Never give up. Talent is individual and passion for the craft is passion. Artists, through the ages, have expressed that passion in zillions of different ways, creating their hearts and souls on canvas, in sculpture, writing, and music....
We are individuals like each snowflake... all beautiful in our own uniqueness...
Happy you kept up your passion!
My parents never supported my writing either. That makes it even harder when you're a kid struggling to figure out what your passions are.
DeleteWow. What a knock down punch. But you got up, or you wouldn't be here, right?
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me about this. I'm working on mine, and have joined into this blog fest. I think it is a shame that people who get such negativity can't get beyond it. Good to see you've continued with your writing, Shelly. It's rewarding!
Yes, Not giving up is rewarding. Now if I could just get critters to stick with me that would solve another problem.
DeleteAw, I think we all have similar instances, Shelly.
ReplyDeleteBut I love what you said about stories being like family and we're too close to see the flaws. I've made this analogy before too inn my head--especially pointing things out to Hubby about his parents. lol
Thanks so much for joining in with this! So glad you did!
Glad you came by. As you can see I didn't quite read your instructions or give Kudos to the other person.
DeleteI struggle with ADD and Dyslexia. But I work on it everyday. Just like my writing.
Awesome. You totally have to be willing to take criticism, eh? Especially the constructive kind that's offered in the right frame of mind...and you really should heed the mean-spirited stuff too. It probably has niggles of truth--even if it's hard to stomach. =)
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteGreat advice. It's essential to take constructive criticism how it's meant, in the spirit of helping you to become a better writer. I'm sure this is how most do it. And you totally have to follow your own path, not comparing yourself to others. What's good or bad is all subjective anyway.
ReplyDeleteBoth are essential. Taking good advice and not comparing ourselves to others.
DeleteIt is important to take constructive criticism, but at the same time, it's important to trust your own voice and your own unique gifts. There is a balance that each writer has to find. Nice letter!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tyrean.
DeleteGreat lessons! It's so hard not compare ourselves, and so important... and learning to accept criticism is an art form in and of itself :)
ReplyDeleteEspecially when you're a kid.
DeleteGreat letter. Chocolate is essential. I love the part about not comparing yourself to other writers. That's something I grapple with even today. I'm not sure we ever get past that completely.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. I still grapple with it. But thankfully not to the point I used to.
Deletethis was stellar! and you learned so much a long the way that is gold, girl! and yes, never give up! sometimes we just want to. glad to have found you through the hop and am now following your blog! can't wait to see more posts!
ReplyDeleteLearning to take criticism along the way is a great quality in a writer. Excellent advice.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely easier to take criticism now as an adult than it was as a teen.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post and I'm having so many THOUGHTS. In particular, how feedback can make or break you. Yeah, I totally get it.
ReplyDeleteI also think that not comparing yourself to other writers is more easily said than done. It's funny how even when we think we're all grown up, many of us are still haunted by our insecurities. Great advice Shelly, and I'm glad you pursued your dream!
ReplyDeleteJulie
"Never give up" will get us through the days we feel defeated. It is hard to not compare ourselves with others, so thank you for reminding us that we all have something to contribute to the writing world.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth Hein - Scribbling in the Storage Room
I liked the three sets of eyes point. If multiple people see an issue, then there's probably an issue.
ReplyDelete"Stories are like families. We make excuses for our bad habits and enable them on because we're too close to really fix what could be better."
ReplyDeleteWow. I never thought about it that way. Thanks for sharing, Shelly! :D