This morning as I write this post, my eyes are dry. But that’s not how it’s been all weekend. Friday evening I received horrible news.
While at work and in between heads of hair, I checked my messages and voice mail. One of those messages was from one of my co-critiquers from my writing group.
I waited to return the call when I got on the road. The moon hung in the night sky bright and full. People drove a bit crazy on the way home, riding tail lights and weaving in and out of traffic. I had no clue my life would change after I pressed the number on my phone.
Ms. H answered the phone, “Shelly.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Kaye died.”
“Kaye?” The only Kay I knew was my dear friend and editor. She’s had my MS since the middle of last month.
“Yes. Kaye.”
“You mean, our Kaye. Kaye Coppersmith?'” Tears welled up in my eyes while someone passed and maneuvered their big car in front of mine.
“Yes,” she said. “She passed on Thursday.”
My heart hit the bottom of my stomach. The last I saw my Kaye was Monday. Her concerns were with my own health issues. That’s what we discussed. Little did I know, she’d be the one departing the earth in a couple days.
Right now, I’m feeling lost. I’m not one to get too close to people. It takes me a long time to really warm up to anyone. If anything most people would say I’m pretty aloof and keep people at an arm’s length. Trust is a big thing with me, and I trusted her. She wasn’t just my editor. She was my friend, and I loved her dearly. No one will ever be able to replace her. She was a quality friend. A quality editor.
Whenever I’ve doubted myself, she believed in me. She was famous for the word ‘Ack!’ when I used the wrong tag. She loved canned peaches and crumb buns. She carried her loose change in a prescription bottle. She kept a journal of favorite lines from books she read. She was quirky and unique. Oh my God, I miss her already.
Who’s going to be my Kaye-quality friend and editor now? How am I going to get my edits complete without her?
Right now everyone, I’m a mess. I’m hoping some how she’s still here as an angel and that she’ll whisper what I’m doing right and wrong.
That brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry. So sweet you knew all the little things about her.
ReplyDeleteTonja: She was so interesting. At first sight, no one would've ever thought she was an editor. She always wore jeans,t-shirts and tennis shoes. And her hair was always disheveled. In fact, when I first met her, it had a lime green hue.
DeleteOh Shelly, I'm so so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteHey M.J.: She was my friend and one of the best editors I knew.
DeleteAm sorry to read about the loss of your friend.
ReplyDeleteGossip-Girl: Thank you.
DeleteShelly, I'm so sorry. It's always a shock, especially being so close to her.
ReplyDeleteSir Wills:
DeleteI feel all broken inside.
So sorry. What a shock.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I'm still in shock.
DeleteShelly: I'm sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteYvonne: Thank you. It was terribly shocking. I can't imagine my life without her.
DeleteI'm so sorry Shelly and the fact that she believed in you will be her legacy to you. If she believed, then others will too. I wish I could help, but since I'm not really good enough to be editing anything, I can only offer you my distant hugs.
ReplyDeleteEvie: Hugs back to you. You're as sweet as Lena.
DeleteI'm sorry for your loss as well.
ReplyDeleteAs a writer, you have the gift of being able to honor her forever by instilling parts of her in your characters. She will continue to inspire you.
Michelle: That was so sweet. Thank you.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear this news. I agree that she will always be able to inspire you, and be with you. She would want you to keep moving forward, doing great things with your life. I firmly believe you will see her again.
ReplyDeleteSarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)
Actually Sarah, she was in my dream last night. She handed me back my manusript. Coffee stained it and there were crumbs throughout the pages. Pencil marked it up and there were magazine articles tucked into various pages. She even apologized for it not being finished and out of order.
DeleteShelly,
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry for your loss, of both a great friend and an editor. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. May God help your heart to heal and may He send someone else special into your life to help you. Hang in there. I agree with Eve; since she saw something special in you and your writing, others will, too. I already think you are special. Take care and keep pushing forward, as I know she lives in your memories and your heart. I'm sure she will be looking down fondly upon you. Take care!
Lena, thank you sooo much.
DeleteShelly, just popped in to see how you are doing. We've visited elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, hon.
Yes. Thank you.
DeleteOH, dear! So sorry to hear you lost your 'K'! Maybe Kay can be your 'K' day and you can do a lovely tribute to her.
ReplyDeleteAnd,you'll probably aways and forever remember her, love her, and ask yourself, what would Kay do?
Sending Hugs and Prayers!
Texas Playwright Chick
Texas:
DeleteThat's exactly what I'll do and give you a shout out.
Thank you.
I am so sorry, Shelly.
ReplyDeleteJoyce:
DeleteThank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Shelly.
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z
Shannon:
DeleteThank you. It was so sudden to lose a fantastic person.
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteClaire, thanks for coming by. It was all so sudden and shocking.
DeleteShelly,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. If I could hug you right now, I would. It is so hard to lose someone you love. My heart goes out to you.
Dawn, thank you.
DeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss, Shelly. There's never a good time to lose someone...but when it's unexpected it can be very difficult to accept.
ReplyDeleteRhia from Five Minute Piece for Inspiration (around # 800 on the A through Z list)
Tomorrow Rhia, I'm doing a tribute to her...for her.
DeleteThanks for stopping by.